The Scriptor's Altus
Social Agenda in stories
I have a story I wrote five months ago that I've yet to upload. In all honesty, I'm a bit nervous, so I thought I'd ask some other authors out.

The story is called Best Friend's Promise. The premise of the story starts out when Hermione find Draco holding a small first year to the floor, pinning him with his foot. Hermione threatens to hex him senseless, and many other, other things.

Harry and Ron, who are behind her, ask her if she's 'mental' and why the hell she's risking expulsion to do this (rather than summoning help; Hermione gets right in Draco's face.)

The story sort of fades in and out of flashback mode, and it touches on why Hermione feels so strongly on social injustice and such. The background narrative is a story about Hermione and an OC, a young half-Pakistani girl, who were best friends growing up. The Pakastani girl ends up being brutally beaten by her stepfather, who hates Asians, and dies as a result. Her last words are to Hermione, asking her not to let him hurt her anymore, to make it stop, and to not forget her. Hermione promises her that she won't, and thus she makes a promise not to let people get away with such acts. That's why she loses her cool so much, and why she inteferes; she's keeping her promise, and a best friend's promise is, in the story, the most binding promise of all.

The story itself is rather well written by my own shoddy standards, but I worry about what people will think.

Do social agendas have a place in fiction? Since there are so many young writers, is it acceptable to show brutality strongly? I mean, we have taboo issues in fanfiction- homosexuality, self-injury, under-age and premartial sex, rape, incest, and so on- but rarely are they written for the sole purpose of education. Best Friend's Promise has two purposes- to explain Hermione's need to promote equality, but also education. I find that, since in real life I'm not overtly social and passive-aggressive at best when it comes to taking down social norms and taking on wrong, writing is my best vehicle.

But is it wrong? I mean, should we talk about these kinds of things? The aftermath of rape isn't pretty. Dyslexia isn't pretty. Neither is suicide, depression, insanity.

Opinions? Sorry for my rant, I just really would like feedback.
Members! A few questions.

I have spoken with kirabutler and it's time to throw out some new ideas.

Mine is this: we all bring a story to bat every so often (weekly? biweekly? whatever) and we crit one another's stories. Not just WIP's, but stuff we've had for a while. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses as writers, and we should be helping one another out more.

I say that all stories are welcome, rating and ship (or lackthereof) aside. What I propose is that everyone give me (in comments) links to a few of their specific stories (no general "here's my archive" links, please, and nothing we need a passcode to see) and I'll tack up a post with a few different stories. Wherein we read, crit, praise, and point out errors.

So.. all for it? COMMENT!
A thought
Why do we write smut, do you ever feel like you are forcing a story into the bedroom when it really might not need to go there? Do we put the smut in because we know that is what will get us comments, that is what will bring in the reviews?

To often I feel like I am writing smut scenes because that is the only whay people will read what I have got to write, that it is the only way they will enjoy the story I have to tell.

How much does the inclusion of sex or sexy scenes mean to you as a reader? A writer?

(xposted to scriptors_altus and Yahoo group Writing Wenches.
Why do we write smut, do you ever feel like you are forcing a story into the bedroom when it really might not need to go there? Do we put the smut in because we know that is what will get us comments, that is what will bring in the reviews?

To often I feel like I am writing smut scenes because that is the only whay people will read what I have got to write, that it is the only way they will enjoy the story I have to tell.

How much does the inclusion of sex or sexy scenes mean to you as a reader? A writer?

(xposted to scriptors_altus and Yahoo group Writing Wenches.

Current Mood : curious inquisitive
Current Music : Laid Back- White Horse

My name is Sionnain, and I'm a newly-admitted member. I'm very excited about this community, I think it's a wonderful idea and a great resource. It's like the Graduate School of fic writing! Excellent.

I've been writing fanfiction since this past December, and it has turned into quite the addiction! I've been a writer forever, but the only thing I'd ever published online prior to fanfiction was erotica and the feedback I received for those endeavors was very...ah, interesting, to say the least. Fanfiction is much better in that regard!

As for my fanfiction, I write darkfic. I am here, in fact, through kirabutler who is a new friend and a mod of one of my favorite new communities, darkones. I co-mod several communities, darker_destiny and bella_rodolphus, as well as hp_fqf and hp_hetrecs. I'm primarily a het writer.

My focus as a writer--in general, not just fanfiction--is dark erotica, so that is what you'll see me write usually. My definition of erotic might be a bit different than most--I tend to find certain turn of phrases, images, descriptions erotic that aren't necessarily sexual in nature. Or, at least, maybe not supposed to be? I generally will read anything though, and have recently written my first slash piece.

Continued, as I'm slightly verbose...Collapse )

Current Mood : hopeful hopeful
Quick idea for Escape from Dress Robes.

You know how Draco so often turns into fuzzywuzzy!Draco and such?

I thought I'd have Draco go OOC in order to effectively spy on other students. Unfortunatly, after insulting Hermione, he turns to her for help...

..and I get to skewer OOC Draco by turning him into a homeboy. It's incredibly stupid-sounding, but I mostly needed something ludicrous because Hermione and Blaise essentially take the piss out of Draco behind his back as he (unsuccessfully) tries to navigate Hogwarts as Drake-Master. I don't know if any of you have ever read gangsta!Draco.. it's really scary. Think Quidditch Robes with big, gold chains. Pimp Master Flex, and such.

chapter 2?
Ok, everyone, I was sitting here, and the inspiration bunny bit me with inspiration for Chapter 2 of "Kneazles..." and I had to write it up really quickly before I left. If you haven't read all of Chapter One, well, that really won't matter, cause the two really are different. So, here's the beginning of Chapter 2... hopefully.

Again, tear it apart! It hasn't been beta'd, not even me looking over it. It's 570 words long, which is not even close to how long I want my chapters to be...

What's a Girl to Do?Collapse )
Ok, I'm going to try this again, because I really feel that my first foray into fanfiction needs help before I try to even attempt (again) a second chapter. Tear it apart!

It's a start...Collapse )
On the MNFF forums, I issued a few challenges for House Points. I decided to take one of my own challenges.

The challenge is to take the phrase "A prayer for the dying" and work it into a story. I, of course, am making it a one-shot.

The setup: The night after Voldemort is defeated. Harry is in a pub in Knockturn Alley, taking shots as he remembers the people who suffered greatly to protect him at the Last Battle.

He took the first shot, one of four similar coloured ones. Bright, flaming-red firewhiskey, as potent as it could possibly get without sending his liver into shock.

Each shot was a person.

Arthur. A man of courage, and strength, but most of all, love. He slammed down the shot and pretended that the tears in his eyes were from the burn of the drink. Arthur lay in pain unimaginable, tearing his skin off as he thrashed in a bed from St Mungos. The curse wouldn't kill him, the Healer said, but the blood loss he was sustaining from his self-inflicted wounds would weaken his already fragile body.

Another shot.

Charlie. A kind man, with an easy grin and more freckles than the other Weasleys combined. Harry let the alochol flow down slowly, letting the pain of his already sore esophagus act his penance for his crime. Charlie was comatose, his body riddled with holes from hexes thrown so powerfully that they ripped his body into shreds. He would not outlast the night.

The firewhiskey gutted through him and coursed through Harry's blood, but it could not erase the image of Charlie clinging to his hand, begging him to keep his family safe.

Two excepts to be mutilated.

First- I was going to use apoptosis for the second chapter, but I need to look over it more before I insert it. And I can only hope people understand what apoptosis even is. This is for Simple Evolution, and the theme is spiders.

They have gathered in a large booth at the dark end of The Three Broomsticks. The weather is fine, the drink is fine, and for a moment, they have some peace.

All things can be shattered. Pettiness and envy creep through the cracks of life like spiders scuttling for safety.

Ginny, Ron, Seamus, and Harry descend on the laughing group, irritation on their faces. They have decided that they want the large booth, and no matter that there's no other open table large enough to fit Hermione and her friends.

"Still consorting with the eneny, eh Hermione?" asks Ron, bitterness lashing like silken strings in his voice. Hermione ignores him, merely sipping her drink. Blaise, however, stares directly at Ron, his darkly glittering eyes shooting streaks of fury at the gangly red-head.

It is Ginny, however, who gives off wafts of sheer fury. She glares at Hermione, then at Dean, and back again.

A thousand strands of random information come together to form a web, and Hermione suddenly understands.

"Come on, guys," says Neville jovially, standing up and helping Padma to her feet. "I remember promising Orla we'd being her back some sweets. Let's go get some."

"Yes," says Dean through gritted teeth, obviously annoyed at being stared at, "let's." The group stands up, and they are serene as they leave. Blaise doesn't quite look at Hermione, but he can feel her sadness, etched into her bones.

Dean saunters over to Hermione, and as soon as they are out of earshot, he explains to the group. Hermione remembers that Ginny had 'picked' Dean as her next boyfriend. Dean, however, had not been informed of this, and did not pick back, and Ginny is infuriated at being spurned. And it is humilation that spurs Ginny on; it bites at her ankles and rankles her, that a boy would turn her down. Seamus called Dean stupid for turning down a date, and Dean did not appreciate it.

Every argument pulls together into cohesion. The golden ratio of science tranforms randomness into a coherent pattern, beautiful if somewhat disturbing. Hermione's mind is full of spinning webs that intersect, intertwine, falling apart only to be pieced back together. She stares at Dean.

Dean shrugs, and they enter the candy store.

So.. comments?

The second one is much longer (and hence going under a cut. It's from the second chapter of Escape from Dress Robes, Episode Two- Attack of the Cliches (Chapter one of the Masquerade Ball fic was titled Episode One- The Fangirl Menace.)

For the love of God, I look like Bozo the clown!Collapse )

Comments, crits, flames- all are welcome!

Current Mood : tired but happy
Current Music : Caribbean Blue
As promised earlier, in a comment to my introductory post, here is a larger excerpt from the first chapter of "Of Kneazles and Potions Masters and Bushy-Haired Geeks." This is approximately half of the first chapter. Tear it apart, please. Tell me what is good, what is bad, and whether the beginning is able to hold the reader's attention. Oh, and anything else you might think of! Thanks!

So, here it is...Collapse )
Snippet for Deconstruction
After seeing some others introduce themselves, I'm not sure I did a very good job. Anyhow, I've been writing fanfiction for just over four years (ack); Harry Potter for the last two.

I have two goals in joining this group:
1) to become a better author
2) to become better at feedback (real feedback <- any suggestions on that are welcome!)

I have a severely minimalistic style and I'd LOVE to learn how to flesh it out a bit! Behind the cut is something I just wrote - it has no furture whatsoever. I'd just like to hear what people think of it. Is it not enough? I mean, I don't get into detailed descriptions at all. Not a word is dedicated to surroundings or clothing... Is it needed? Is it something you think should be included? I'd really like to know!

Without further rambling, I give you a short Hermione/Ron break-up scene:Collapse )

Current Mood : awake awake
I need some assistance re: my writing, and I figured that this would be the best place to come to. (Plus, as our mods have said, it's too quiet around here).

I am suffering from a major case of writer's block. Or not writer's block, more of a sudden inability to articulate. Period. I'm not attempting to write an epic or anything, I just want to get a drabble out. Anything, really. I've tried waiting, I've tried to force it, I've tried reading for inspiration. Nothing seems to be working.

Any advice?

Current Mood : frustrated frustrated
Current Music : Steve Burns - Henry Krinkle's Lament
Another New Member
Hi everyone! I'm Jess, known as Silkenroses at Ashwinder - and really all of Sycophant Hex.More behind the cutCollapse )
Alright, ladies (we are a sadly estrogen-driven group, aren't we?)

For the ball fic, as I said before, my main goal isn't romance, but to skewer the fandom as much as possible and not incite major riots. So part of the stories- one chapter in particular- is about debunking popular fandom ideas/beliefs/cliched plotlines.

This is what I have so far:

Draco's green silk boxers
Harry's miraculous Quidditch abs!
Hermione's summer break makeover, replete with highlights
Ginny's mysterious navel piercing
The exchange student (mine doesn't speak English. I don't know where I want her to be from.)

I'm also going to 'Mary-Sue' myself; I'm writing myself into the story, but only as a joke. I'm a random Ravenclaw who pops up and points Blaise in the right direction, then disappears.

What other popular fandom aspects would be appropriate here? I really just want to make fun of people....
Okay. As the lovely Lucia was saying, we've been dead lately. In an attempt to wake everyone up, I have a question to pose.

Is it just me, or has HP fanfiction gone down the tubes lately?

Maybe I'm jaded; I have to go through a lot of stories as a moderator on MNFF, so I thought, maybe I'm just tired. But I still read FA on a regular basis. And so I thought, maybe I'm just being picky, since I tend to write on different topics.

So I sat down with a can of Dr Pepper, a pack of smokes, and spent five hours reading.

And I came to the conclusion that it wasn't just my personal preferences. Not only are the same plots being rehashed over and over again, the influx of Mary-Sue's is outrageous. The dialogue is stilted. People are reverting to rewriting the books in certain styles because, in all honesty, they've started running out of ideas. Everything is stale.

And let's not got too far into the actual writing style itself. Everything is very bland these days- or written to an excess that might have made Nero cringe. Loads of violence, sexual innuendo, flirting, makeup. But it seems that a lot of the time, there's no reason. I can read smut. I can read graphic horror. But I'd rather there be a reason behind it.

And if it's bland... it's like the visual aspect of white bread. Rnn likes Hermione. Hermione likes Ron. They pursue one another. They kiss. They fight. They kiss some more. The end.

See, there's nothing wrong with that plot- but we all know it has to be spiced up. And nothing's being added. It's all the same, all over again.

Is it just me?
New member.
Hello all, I'm gryfforin and I was recently pointed to this community when posting about getting constructive criticism. I won't post nearly as detailed an introduction as I sent in my application, or maybe I will put it behind a cut for anyone that is morbidly curious. But I will give you the vitals.

I'm an almost thirty year old, african-american female. I'm a single mother and lean towards heterosexual. I work as a Web Developer full time and suffer bouts of insanity and insomnia in the evenings. I'm not sure what else you could want to know about me, but scary enough, if you ask I'll probably answer.

If you want to read the application in full detailCollapse )
Anyone want to advise on my latest? There are so many things it could be or should be or something. And it has plenty of weird issues to deal with. It's been suggested, for example, that James try dating a girl in this. I suppose my worry there is that it wouldn't be very canon-compliant. I know that sounds odd since it's clearly not going to be canon given its nature, but...

On May 2, 1976, James Potter learned two valuable lessons. One was to never eat too many Peppermint Toads just before going to bed.Collapse )
I'd like some feedback on this, for the masquerade ball/fandom bitch-slapping fiction. I implore you, tear it apart, tell me what works, tell me what doesn't. All help is appreciated, loved, and will be rewarded with kisses and beer.

It was a day that would go down in history.

For the first time since Salazar Slytherin stormed out of Hogwarts, cursing at its very walls, members of all four houses would rally together to stop an evil so great, so perverse, that nothing short of total unity could destroy it.

And it began with a simple notice tacked up in the Common Room of the four houses.

Keep reading...Collapse )
My dear writers...

Here is my newest problem. Those of you who I haven't really talked to will probably have no idea what I'm talking about...

I'm having a problem finding a 'thread' for the second chapter of Simple Evolution. It's the sort of theme that runs through the chapter.

For chapter one, it was avalanches.

Hermione sits in dark booth at the far end of the Leaky Cauldron. She comes here every day; her parents drop her off as they speed to work. It's quiet here, and she has a corner where no one can see her. She's as invisible as she feels. She keeps an avalanche of pain on her back, trying to stem the flow.

They eat, and laugh, and Hermione feels something that she's never quite felt before.

She feels home.

The small rocks that begin an avalanche begin to skitter down the slopes.

It's the second day of classes when the avalanche begins.

Hermione's fingers splay all over the parchment she's working on as she helps Neville with his Charms essay.

And all Harry can think about is that if Hermione was there, she would know what to say to cheer him up.

The aftermath of the avalanche is devastating, as Hermione leaves the rubble in her wake.

That's the general idea. But I don't know what theme to have for the second. I was thinking spiderwebs, lights, butterflies... HELP! The story is here, if you want to get the general idea of the story.

*pokes Lucia with a spork* HELP!